


long been forgotten

by bazookajo94



Series: we were together [3]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Established Relationship, M/M, Soft Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, he needs a hug, instead aaron yells at him for no reason lol, neil can't stop falling asleep, neil is living that depressed college life and struggling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26202733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazookajo94/pseuds/bazookajo94
Summary: “Maybe I’ll sell my kidney,” Neil told Andrew at one point that summer while they had been searching for a place for Neil to live and seeing that nothing was under five hundred dollars."Or all of my organs," he amended later, still unable to find sustainable housing for anyone not working forty hours a week. "How much do you think they'd take for one of my lungs? There's two for a reason, right?"
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: we were together [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858567
Comments: 27
Kudos: 693





	long been forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> sorry about this one. i made it sound like we were going to have a fun semester growing to love the foxes but then i realized i made everything too hard for neil and so It Is Sad. 
> 
> i wanted to focus on neil's belief he is nothing and how he balances that with his unconditional love for andrew, but it's not a happy place to be, especially when neil doesn't have exy. i will understand if you only like night by night as it too is my favorite in this series 
> 
> i can't decide if i love this or hate this. u decide 
> 
> also, all titles have been from walt whitman

Andrew woke to an empty bed. Of course he did; school started again and he was back in Fox Tower, sleeping in a twin bunk bed he shared with Kevin in a dorm where Neil wasn’t staying. The last time he saw Neil was two days ago, when they had returned from the beach and Neil had a day to move from the apartment he had been renting outside of Columbia to an even smaller apartment in Palmetto. He didn’t need Andrew’s help to move one bed, one box, and one duffel bag.

Andrew reached out and smoothed his hand over the space between himself and the edge of the bed. He stared at his hand until Kevin’s alarm went off.

*

Neil got a job as a receptionist at a tutoring center on campus. He only worked twelve hours a week, and he had enough blood money to hold over his apartment for a while, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to sustain the next four years as a track student not living in student housing.

“Maybe I’ll sell my kidney,” he told Andrew at one point that summer while they had been searching for a place for Neil to live and seeing that nothing was under five hundred dollars. "Or all of my organs," he amended later, still unable to find sustainable housing for anyone not working forty hours a week. "How much do you think they'd take for one of my lungs? There's two for a reason, right?" 

Andrew didn’t respond to the joke because it wasn’t funny.

*

Andrew, despite spending the majority of his summer with Neil and ignoring Kevin’s urgings to practice, had to return to exy during the school year. Neil and Andrew didn’t have very many times in their schedules that overlapped, with Neil’s own track practice and work and classes.

“It’s okay, Andrew,” Neil told him Monday night as they sat on the roof of Fox Tower and Andrew fiddled with the fingers of Neil’s left hand. He traced the burn scars on Neil’s knuckles until his fingers felt numb. “I’ll see you when I can.”

Andrew dropped Neil’s hand and said nothing. 

*

The first week was hellish because everyone stared at Neil’s scars and wanted to ask about his scars and he couldn’t run from the questions or the stares, and Katelyn, Aaron’s girlfriend, was in one of his classes.

He couldn’t see Andrew and he couldn’t sleep at night even though he was so exhausted from the people and the places and things and he couldn’t wake up when he did sleep because he had horrible dreams, dredged up from all the questions about his scars, nightmares that never ended, and on Thursday he vomited before his class because he hadn’t eaten and he had a headache and track practice was immediately after class.

He felt tired and wide awake, and he missed Andrew.

*

Matt found Neil at the café in the library. Neil’s leg was bouncing agitatedly, and his right hand was tapping his pen on the table while he glared at his notes. Matt noted that though the café was holstering a large number of students at this time, all of the chairs around Neil were empty, and the workers at the counter were decidedly not looking at Neil as they prepared a sandwich with stiff movements.

Matt moved to take a seat beside Neil and said, jokingly, “What did you do, piss everyone off?”

Neil looked up, startled, and when he recognized Matt, his shoulders relaxed. “Yes,” he said.

Matt laughed.

*

On Friday, Andrew met Neil at his apartment with a bag of clothes thrust at his chest. Neil, bemused, put them on, but he wouldn’t let Andrew drag him out of his apartment until Andrew kissed him.

*

When Aaron saw Neil walking beside Andrew toward the car, he crossed his arms and seethed.

Nicky slid to sit in the middle so Neil could sit in the backseat, cooing at how cute Neil was, and Aaron said as soon as they pulled away from the curb, “If he comes again, I won't go.”

The ride to Sweetie’s was silent, and the night at Eden’s Twilight was spent with Kevin getting drunk and Andrew staring at nothing after Aaron and Nicky disappeared while Neil nursed a cold can of soda, feeling it grow lukewarm in his hands as he watched the flashing lights flicker over the blonde strands of Andrew’s hair. 

*

Neil stole one of Andrew’s exy sweatshirts. Andrew had left it on the floor Saturday night, and when Neil woke up at four thirty from a restless sleep, he sat up in bed and grabbed whatever clothes his feet touched first. Andrew had rolled over when Neil sat up, but he didn’t follow him from the room.

Neil, upon entering the living room, stood for a few minutes looking around his empty apartment, sparse furniture, no couch, no table, before moving to curl up on the thrift store recliner he bought that still smelled like someone else.

He buried his nose in Andrew’s sweatshirt, taking long, deep breaths until he fell asleep.

When he woke up hours later, Andrew was staring at him from the bedroom doorway, wearing only a pair of boxers. Neil smiled at him, but Andrew couldn’t see it because Neil’s face was still half sunken into the sweatshirt.

*

The next week was easier because people started to leave Neil alone. They stopped staring so much, stopped asking so much, and he could maybe see himself getting along with the people on his track team, and Matt found him again in the library café on Tuesday and Thursday for lunch before they each had a different English class at one. He ignored Katelyn in their shared class, though she sometimes tried to smile at him awkwardly.

Work wasn’t so horrible though it was mindless, and he still wasn’t really sleeping at night or eating as much as he should, but he just needed to go grocery shopping and buy more things to fill his empty apartment.

He didn’t see Andrew until Friday, but there was nothing he could do about that.

*

Andrew had a break after classes on Wednesdays before his exy practice, and he knew that was when Neil had one of his track practices. The break was only thirty minutes, but Andrew went to the track anyways and stood in the stands and watched Neil sprint and stretch and catch his breath, holding a hand flat on his chest while he gasped and nodded at whatever anyone said to him. 

Kevin found him there two minutes before practice, though Andrew didn’t know why or how he knew Andrew would be here.

Kevin stomped up the stairs like Andrew was already late (which, admittedly, he would have been) and opened his mouth to reprimand until he watched Neil’s next sprint.

“He’s fast,” Kevin observed, distracted for a moment from yelling at Andrew.

Andrew didn’t say anything, just watched as Neil caught his breath again, before Kevin said it was time to go.

*

Kevin found Neil on Monday between classes. They both had class at eleven and an hour to kill, so they spent that time in the library. Kevin, who had been pulling up an exy game on his phone, spotted Neil sitting at a table and staring into space instead of reading his textbook open in front of him.

Kevin sat next to him and held his phone in the space between them, ignoring Neil’s jolt of surprise.

Kevin offered one of his headphones and Neil, after a moment’s deliberation, took it. They both watched the game in silence until it was time to go.

The next Monday was not so silent, but Kevin didn’t really mind that Neil was so novice when he was so quick to learn, and Neil didn’t mind that Kevin was so obnoxious when he clearly knew what he was talking about.

And, Neil supposed, exy  _ was  _ kind of interesting.

*

Aaron refused to go out on Fridays if Neil was there, and Andrew always showed up to Neil’s apartment on Friday night to pick him up, but the cousins wouldn’t go to Eden’s Twilight without Aaron, so Andrew would bring Neil over to hang out in their room while Aaron disappeared to Katelyn’s. Neil didn’t understand the status of Andrew and Aaron’s deal anymore, but he didn’t care about Aaron enough to ask about it. For whatever reason, Aaron still hated Neil, but Aaron was allowed to see Katelyn and Andrew didn’t fight his brother about it.

This particular Friday night, Andrew and Nicky had put on a stream of a horror game, and though the cousins were rapt with their attention (well, as rapt as they could be with Andrew’s apathy for most things and Nicky steadily getting drunker), Neil found himself dozing off ten minutes into the stream.

He hadn’t realized he curled himself into a ball on one side of the couch with Andrew on the other until he was already half asleep and too lazy to try and wake himself up. He wanted to tell Andrew to wake him up in an hour so he could go home, but his tongue was heavy and he was already falling under.

He woke later to the sound of a gunshot.

*

It was midnight when Aaron came home, and the snick of the lock was deafening in the still silence of the living room. Nicky had fallen asleep an hour after Neil, Kevin had headphones in while he watched exy games at one of the desks, the video game stream had stopped to buffer and hadn’t resumed for the past hour, and Andrew didn’t care enough to log out. He watched the buffering symbol spin until the lock clicked, and both Nicky and Neil bolted awake at the noise.

Nicky was still drunkenly delirious, but Andrew watched as Neil, chest heaving, sat ramrod straight and grappled around for purchase, only to come up empty handed. When he realized he had nothing, his hands went to cover his neck. 

And then, as abrupt as his waking had been, Neil relaxed. He dropped his hands and looked up at Aaron for one second, and then he fumbled around for his phone. “Oh,” he said when he noticed the time. “I’ve got to go.” He rubbed his eyes, trying to force himself awake, before standing up to stretch.

“Um,” Nicky started, but he couldn’t seem to get his words in order fast enough and Neil was already walking toward the door.

“I’ll see you guys later,” Neil said, scooting around Aaron. He looked back at Andrew and offered a small smile before closing the door behind him. 

“Um,” Nicky said again, a little more awake. Both he and Aaron were looking at the front door after Neil in confusion, but Kevin was looking at Andrew and Andrew was staring at the spot on the couch where Neil had been.

After a minute, he stood up and followed Neil out the front door, but he didn’t catch up to him. Instead, Andrew went to the roof and didn’t come back down until the sun was rising.

*

The next week Neil was so busy with his classes and work and practice and being social with the few foxes that sought him out that he was asleep when Andrew knocked on his door on Friday night. 

“I should make you a key,” Neil grumbled when he opened the door. He wasn’t sure if he was even awake right now. Was it already Friday? When had he last seen Andrew? This past week was a blur. Neil remembered a fight with a classmate, a laugh shared with Matt and Dan (who joined them at lunch), an awkward group project with Katelyn. He remembered setting up internet at his house during the scant hours he had to himself between school and work so he could watch exy not over Kevin’s shoulder. He remembered looking out at the stands on Wednesday during practice and seeing Andrew watching him while he attempted to know the people around him.

After letting Andrew in, Neil had begun stumbling toward his room so he could put his shoes on and follow Andrew anywhere he wanted to go. Instead, as soon as he entered his room, he forgot why he was there and Andrew, not kindly, pushed him onto his bed. Neil collapsed face-first with a loud  _ oof _ and tried to get up, but Andrew’s body was a sudden and unforgiving weight on top of him. 

Neil meant to complain about Andrew’s antics but what came out instead was, uncharacteristically, a soft whine.

“I can’t move,” he said into his pillow. 

Andrew hummed, and then kissed the back of Neil’s neck. His arms were resting loosely by Neil’s head, like a barricade. 

“I can’t breathe,” Neil said, but he didn’t move his face out of his pillow. Andrew dropped another kiss, didn’t say anything. 

“We have to go spend time with your family,” Neil said, and tried to sit up. Andrew softly bit the back of Neil’s neck, refusing to move. 

“No,” Andrew mumbled. 

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because you like spending time with your family.”

Andrew didn’t say anything and moved his mouth away from Neil, and even though Neil couldn’t see his face he knew Andrew didn’t like that response. 

“C’mon, Andrew,” Neil said softly, bracing his arms on the bed beneath him and trying to push himself up. Andrew refused to budge, and Neil’s energy ebbed further away. He hadn’t realized his eyes were closed until he couldn’t muster the energy to open them. “We have to go.”

Andrew didn’t move, and ten seconds later, Neil was asleep.

*

As soon as Neil relaxed into sleep, Andrew rolled off his body. He stared at the ceiling as he listened to Neil softly snore. He didn’t leave until Neil roused some few hours later with enough energy to ask if Andrew had dinner and Andrew shoved his face away and said he was leaving. 

Neil frowned but stood to walk Andrew to the door, and Andrew didn’t stop him: didn’t stop Neil from holding his hand as they trailed slowly through the living room, didn’t stop him as Neil went in for a kiss and dropped his head on Andrew’s shoulder instead. Andrew tolerated the gesture until Neil’s breathing evened out, and then Andrew resolutely pushed Neil off of him and left.

*

Midterms were approaching and the foxes became so busy with practices and games and school that Neil didn’t see any of them a week before fall break. Neil had invited Matt, Andrew, and Kevin to one of his meets, but none of them could make it due to a game they had out of state the next day. By the time they would return, it would be fall break. 

Neil kept falling asleep whenever Andrew came to see him that he tried sleeping during classes so he’d be awake on Friday, but when his grades started slipping, his coach told him he’d lose his scholarship if he didn’t participate in class. Neil considered dropping his hours at the tutoring center and just using his blood money for housing, but old habits made him hesitant to waste so much of his money just on housing. 

_ It might be easier to live on the streets again,  _ Neil thought to himself one night as he made himself a cup of noodles. It was either that or get a roommate, and Neil knew Andrew wouldn’t come and see him if he had a roommate. 

Neil sighed. He was so tired. He left his cup of noodles to soften on the counter and went to lay on the floor under the window because he still didn’t have a couch and he was tired of the crick in his neck he got from curling into the chair. He hadn’t meant to, but he fell asleep, and when he woke again, it was one in the morning and his cup of noodles was soggy and cold. He ate it anyways because he knew he had to, because he had nothing else to do. 

*

Kevin was discussing plays with the foxes on their bus ride back to campus from Arkansas. When Seth disagreed with him for the fifth time that night, Kevin huffed and said, “Neil would know what the fuck I’m talking about.” 

“Oh, you too?” Allison asked. 

Kevin frowned, confused. “Me too what?” 

“He’s got you wrapped around his finger, too?” she elaborated, smirking, and everyone flicked a quick look back to Andrew sitting at the last seat on the bus. He didn’t acknowledge his teammates as they spoke about his relationship. 

Kevin scoffed. “I wouldn’t call it that.” 

Allison rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Where has he been, anyways?” 

“He’s busy,” Nicky chimed in, since the only other people who knew about Neil’s schedule (the twins and Kevin) weren’t going to bother to explain. “His scholarship doesn’t cover housing and only lasts for four years so he has to take more classes  _ and  _ pay.” 

“He can’t stay with his parents?” But then Allison flinched when she remembered that awful day on the beach when Neil admitted to his throat being slit from his father, and they hadn’t wanted to ask about his mother. “Er, nevermind. He can’t just hide in the dorm with you?”

Aaron, who had been ignoring them up until that point, snorted so loud and derisive that the upperclassmen turned to him. 

“Um, yeah, good luck getting Aaron to agree to that,” Nicky said, chuckling awkwardly. “He’s still hoping this is all just one massive hate fuck and that Neil will leave eventually. I’m kinda surprised Neil  _ has  _ lasted this long.” 

Everyone glanced back to Andrew again, who still hadn’t turned to acknowledge their conversation that was definitely not quiet. 

When they returned to campus, while everyone was going to drop off their gear, Andrew went to his car and threw his bag in the trunk. 

“Where are you going? Hey!” Nicky called when he noticed that Andrew was getting into his car and starting it without them in it. “How are we supposed to get home?” Andrew, with one final parting look at, surprisingly, Aaron, left them in the parking lot. Nicky was only slightly miffed (he was more amused that Andrew was leaving them for a  _ boy  _ than he was upset at being left at all) and Kevin, though frowning, didn’t seem all too surprised. 

Aaron, however, looked pissed. And somewhat resolved. 

*

Neil was smiling when he opened the door for Andrew. “Hey,” he greeted, and Andrew shoved him aside so he could go into his apartment. Neil went on, “How did your game go? Kevin texted me the scores but didn’t tell me who won.”

“We did.

“Cool. Have you eaten?”

Andrew noted the empty sink and the lack of any sort of scent in the apartment aside from the cardboard from Neil’s new kitchenware set. “Have you?” Andrew asked, turning back to Neil, who shrugged in response. 

“Let’s go,” Andrew said, moving back toward the door without waiting for a response. 

Neil’s small smile returned. “Okay,” he said. 

*

That night, after they ate and Neil perched on the arm of the recliner to show Andrew stupid videos on his phone, Andrew dragged him to bed with hot hands and heavy kisses. Though nothing about Andrew was ever playful, these kisses didn’t feel rushed or heady--nothing about Andrew was ever soft, either, but Neil grinned into the little nips on his skin and shivered at the languid way Andrew trailed his hands up his torso, taking off his shirt. 

After discarding Neil’s shirt, Andrew moved to settle into his straddle on Neil’s hips. He stared down at him with dark eyes in the dim light of the bedroom. Neil’s fingers were lightly trailing up and down Andrew’s sides over his shirt, and Andrew traced the outline of Neil’s ribs before moving up, pebbling Neil’s skin in anticipation. Neil felt flushed and happy, and by the time Andrew’s hands were on his neck, Neil’s own had moved into Andrew’s hair, combing and tangling themselves into the strands. 

Neil hadn’t noticed because Andrew was always at some point touching his neck, but this time Andrew’s focus was intensely on Neil’s scar, and his hands were moving in a way that caressed the skin before covering the scar and hiding it from view. He stared at his own hands on Neil’s neck and didn’t move.

Neil, hesitant, asked in a quiet voice, “Not to kink shame, but what are you doing?” because he couldn’t understand why Andrew was doing this now, after all this time, when he never seemed bothered by Neil’s scars before and had never wanted Neil to hide. 

Andrew frowned as if he could feel Neil’s insecurities or read them on his face. He said, “Shut up,” before moving his hands up into Neil’s hair and bending down to press open-mouthed kisses on Neil’s neck, all over his scar, under his jaw. Neil kept one hand in Andrew’s hair and moved the other to cup the back of his head. 

He couldn’t help but think, even with Andrew’s steady weight on top of him and calloused fingers all over him, that Andrew didn’t feel close enough, never really felt as close as Neil wanted him, and there wasn’t any way for Neil to bring him closer because he knew that Andrew didn’t want to be that, didn’t think that any one person should be that much for someone else. 

So Neil would spare Andrew that burden, but it was hard some nights, nights when Neil was alone or nights like tonight when Andrew’s breath was hot in his ear, and Neil knew he didn’t have anything else.

*

After fall break, Aaron picked up Katelyn after class, except he wasn’t actually there for Katelyn and he stopped Neil from walking away. He gestured with his head for Neil to follow, and Neil, though annoyed, did what he was bid. They walked around campus and eventually stopped in front of the Foxhole Court, where Aaron spun on Neil and glared. 

Neil glared back. He snapped, “What?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not doing anything.” 

Aaron’s scowl intensified. “Why are you trying so hard for my brother?”

Neil’s fists clenched. He was furious. “Excuse me?” 

Aaron continued as if Neil said nothing. “He doesn’t care. What you do, what I do, what anyone does.” 

Neil knew that, but he didn’t care what Aaron thought about him or Andrew or anything else. “Then why does it matter to you?” he asked. 

“Because I think it’s a waste of everyone’s time, you being here.” 

Neil felt a little numb hearing those words, but what could he do? “I’ll be with Andrew as long as he’ll have me.” 

Aaron, undeterred, asked, “And when he leaves? Gets bored?”

“Andrew started this out of boredom. If he wants to leave that way, too, he can.” 

Neil, done with this conversation, left Aaron in front of the Foxhole Court. He didn’t care what Aaron thought about him or Andrew or their time together or what Neil meant to Andrew. Neil had only ever cared about one thing in his life, and he wasn’t going to lose that one thing by refusing to let it go when it wanted, when it didn’t need him anymore.

*

Andrew was smoking on top of his desk when Aaron stormed into their room that night. Andrew raised a brow at his harsh entrance. Nicky had disappeared for the night to the upperclassmen’s room, and Kevin said he would be at the court later.

“What are you doing, Andrew?”

Andrew waved his cigarette, blowing smoke in Aaron’s direction. 

“Why are you still with that scarred asshole?” 

“Why, Aaron, I didn’t know it was any of your business.”

“It is my business. You made it my business when we made our deal.”

“And then I let you break our deal, so what do you want?”

Aaron abruptly changed topics, as if hoping to shock a reaction out of Andrew. “You know he doesn’t care, right? If you leave him?” 

Andrew said nothing, and Aaron went on, “I asked him. What he would do once you grew bored of him and left, and he said you can do whatever you want.” 

Andrew had to look away from his twin. Something was buzzing under his skin, and it felt dark and heavy. 

Aaron, mocking, sneered, “What a fight he’s putting up for you.” 

The darkness seeping in him started spilling into his fingertips. He was shaking. He dropped his cigarette, not bothering to stub the smoldering ember, and shouldered past his brother, who was hurrying to the discarded cigarette. 

Andrew didn’t close the door behind him.

*

Andrew eventually found Neil in the Foxhole Court. He was laying on his back on one of the home benches, throwing a ball above him and catching it an inch from his face. 

When Andrew moved to stand beside him, Neil didn’t get up from the bench but didn’t throw the ball again. He grinned at Andrew. “Hey. I’m glad you’re here. You can help settle this bet I’m having with Kevin as soon as he comes back. Do you think Atlanta has a good goalie? Because literally no.” 

Andrew said, “Why are you fighting with my brother?” and Neil stopped smiling and sat up, the ball slipping from his fingers. He was scowling now.

“I’m not,” Neil said. “He came to me. I didn’t think he’d go straight to you when it was over, but he did always seem a little squirrely.” Neil shrugged like it didn’t matter, but Andrew could see the tense set to his shoulders that said he was still annoyed at whatever Aaron had approached him about. “Don’t worry. God willing, I won’t have to speak to him one-on-one again.”

“What he said,” Andrew started, not sure what he wanted to say, if he wanted to talk at all, but he still felt so angry and he didn’t know who he was angry at.

Neil cocked his head. “What?” 

Andrew waved his hand flippantly. “That I’ll get bored. Eventually.” 

Neil shrugged again, and Andrew was reminded of their time in Easthaven, when Neil was going to leave him, when he knew he was going to die, and he didn’t tell him, didn’t care, just shrugged and lied.

Andrew glared. “Neil.” 

Neil’s body suddenly deflated, his shoulders hunched, and he was meeting Andrew’s eyes but he looked tired. He always looked tired. Neil said, “I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. I was nothing when we met, I’m nothing now, and I’ll be nothing when you’re gone. You can do what you want.”

Andrew thought about their last day at Easthaven, when Neil wouldn’t talk to him, just laid beside him in bed and stared at him and touched him and then left the next day. “Neil,” Andrew said again.

“You can end this whenever you want, Andrew. I know it started out as a way to pass the time, and I don’t know what it means to you now, but I'm not going to stop you from doing what you want.” 

Andrew wanted him to stop talking but he couldn’t make himself say Neil’s name again. He couldn’t seem to do anything but watch as Neil stood up, fidgety and jerky. Neil had looked at his hands at one point while he was speaking, and now he looked up to meet Andrew’s gaze. Neil smiled again, and Andrew hated the sight of it. He felt sick.

“It’s okay, Andrew,” he said in his soft voice, the one that Andrew couldn’t stand, the one Neil used only when he spoke to Andrew. “We can do whatever you want as long as you want, all right?” And then, as abruptly as Neil had pulled himself together when he woke up frightened, Neil reigned in whatever was on his face and turned to the door Kevin was currently walking through. “Now, Andrew,” Neil said, like whatever had just happened between them didn’t. “Kevin’s going to show you a video and you’re going to tell us just how horrible this goalie is. Should be easy for you.” Neil side-eyed Andrew with a sly expression. “Being the only good goalie in this sport and all.”

Kevin said something, and Neil bantered, but Andrew couldn’t be bothered to listen, bothered to care. He stared at Neil the rest of the night, until Kevin said it was time to go and he tugged on Andrew’s arm and they left Neil to walk alone back to his apartment, the sun gone. Neil left and didn’t look back at Andrew. 

*

On Tuesday, Matt asked Neil about Andrew. 

“What? What’s wrong with Andrew?” 

“I don’t know. He didn’t come to practice yesterday. I thought maybe you’d know.”

“I don’t usually see Andrew during the week.”

“Oh. We thought maybe he was with you.”

“No. Maybe check with your coach?” 

Matt seemed baffled by that suggestion. “Why?”

Neil was baffled that Matt would wonder why Wymack. “He stays with him sometimes when he's upset.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

Neil lips twisted into a wry smile. “No, I don’t suppose you would.”

*

On Wednesday, Neil found Andrew in his usual spot in the stands during Neil’s track practice. Neil waved, but Andrew didn’t wave back. 

*

On Thursday, Kevin joined Matt and Neil for lunch and they both pried Neil for answers on why Andrew and now Aaron weren't at practice. 

“I don’t know why you think I would know. I don’t usually see Andrew until tomorrow. I’m sure he’s fine. The both of them.”

They gave Neil dubious looks but didn’t press it.

*

On Friday, Neil came home and found Andrew lounging on a couch and setting up a TV in his living room. 

Neil wasn’t sure what to say so he didn’t say anything. He went to his room and found clothes strewn about his bed and only half of them were his. Neil saw Andrew’s exy gear in the corner, a backpack in the walkway, a second toothbrush by the sink in the bathroom. 

“It stinks in here,” Neil called out to Andrew, but there was a helpless smile on his face. 

“Clean once in a while,” Andrew called back. 

“I don’t have anything to clean.”

“Now you do.”

Neil walked out of his room. Andrew was still fiddling with the TV. 

“Won’t your family be mad you took their TV?” Neil asked.

“They can get over it.”

“Andrew.”

“No.”

“You can’t leave your family.”

“I’m not.”

Neil looked pointedly at all the things Andrew brought into his place. 

“We’re going to Eden’s Twilight tonight,” Andrew told him, finally putting down the remote.

“With Aaron?”

Andrew nodded.

Neil looked around his suddenly full apartment that felt even smaller than usual, like there was only space for Neil and Andrew to stand if they wanted to be in a room together. He took a deep breath because he felt like he couldn’t breathe and all he could smell was Andrew. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, because he didn’t have it in him to say he didn’t want this.

Andrew ignored him, grabbing his keys from the kitchen counter and moving to the door. “Let’s go. Kevin is going to ask you to come play exy with him and the upperclassmen tomorrow.”

“Cool.” Neil grinned, reaching out for Andrew’s hand. “I like exy.”

**Author's Note:**

> i have nothing more to say about them in this easthaven soft sad universe (i mean it this time lol). i'll see u next time. thanks for being here. it was an emotional journey for me


End file.
